i havent been back to korea for like... 6 months
i feel like everytime i dont want to face something
i just run away and my job allows me to do that
last winter was a fucking hard time for me like every winter
like every summer is hot for me
on the way from shooting to home in the metro
i cried cos even when im 20, i feel the same
i used to come home in a metro crying when i was 16 in paris too.
whats the point of this manifestation
really what is it
since when did i ever have a normal life anyway
it was so fucked up from the beginning its like as if this was the best way
it couldve been layed out anyway whats the point of being upset
people are the same anyway, just mild changes, mild different spectrums,
mild different backgrounds, people do this to each other anyway
it is not the difference between a complex intellect and a beautiful simpleton.
aknowledging it doesnt make the difference, like how people say setting awareness
makes differences. it does, but it doesnt, because action needs to follow.
so what is my action.
jump out the window?
cut ur wrist?
party ?
be decadant?
do charity work?
be a housewife?
obey?
disobey?
prove? not prove?
love ? not love?
enjoy the power?
what power?
im not interested.
pretend to be interested?
i am not entertained.
then entertain yourself
i am not entertaintment
beat yourself with work
only cry for help when you are about to die
when you are on the floor
until no one cares
until not even yourself cares.
- d. kim